Ah, the darkness surrounding me is as thick as my own self-importance. Lucky for me, I have the gift of darkvision, allowing me to see these wretched creatures skulking in the shadows. Four giant weasels, you say? How quaint. I can barely tell them apart, but I suppose I'll call them weasel number one through four, for the sake of being thorough.
With a deep sigh, I prepare to face these beasts. My trusty battleaxe gleams in the dim light, ready to bring these furry fiends to justice. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself. In reality, I'd much rather be somewhere else, anywhere else, sipping on a cup of tea and laughing at the simpletons who dare to challenge me.
The fight begins, and I waste no time in striking down one of these oversized rodents. It's weasel number one, if you're keeping track. The remaining three continue their futile attempts to bring me down, but my chain mail armor keeps them at bay. Unfortunately, one particularly persistent pest manages to land a bite, tearing into my flesh and dealing a hefty 11 points of damage. I can feel myself slipping away, my life force dwindling as the darkness closes in around me.
But just as all hope seems lost, a mysterious divine power surges through me, healing my wounds and giving me a newfound strength to continue the battle. It's not every day that an unknown dark god decides to intervene on my behalf, but I suppose even they can't resist my charm.
With renewed vigor, I set upon the remaining weasels, cutting them down one by one until only one is left standing. And then, in a cruel twist of fate, it rips out my throat and starts immediately tearing into my lifeless body and feasting on my remains. It's a humiliating end, to be sure, but at least I went out swinging.